Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “If I just had more willpower, I’d finally stick to it”. Whether that’s eating better, moving more, or breaking an old habit?
It’s a common belief. But it’s also the reason so many people feel stuck, frustrated, and burned out when they’re genuinely trying to make positive changes.
Why relying on willpower keeps letting us down
When things don’t go to plan, people often say things like:
“Next time, I just need more willpower.”
The problem is that willpower isn’t a reliable strategy.
Many people try to muscle their way through tough days using motivation and determination alone. They push harder, ignore how they’re feeling, and expect themselves to “power through” every challenge.
But willpower is a finite resource. It runs down over the day and usually disappears at exactly the moment you need it most. Stress, poor sleep, low mood, busy schedules, and decision overload all drain it further.
At best, this approach leads to exhaustion. At worst, it leaves people more vulnerable to temptation, all-or-nothing thinking, and giving up entirely.
Relying on willpower and motivation is unsustainable.
Instead, follow a system that will help you do the thing, even on your worst day.
What to do instead: follow systems, not strain
Rather than using willpower as your main tool, it works far better as a last resort. Something you save for genuinely unavoidable situations.
The real change comes from systems and routines.
A good system makes the right decision:
- the default option
- the easiest option
- the option that happens with minimal effort
When this is in place, willpower isn’t required. You simply find yourself doing the “right” thing because it’s built into your environment, routines, or choices.
For example:
- Preparing meals in advance so healthier options are ready when you’re tired
- Laying out exercise clothes the night before
- Removing friction from positive habits and adding friction to unhelpful ones
These small structural changes quietly do the heavy lifting for you.
How to start using this today
If you want to move away from burning through willpower, try this simple exercise:
- Notice the last time you said, “I need more willpower.”
- List the factors you could change so the better choice becomes the default one
(your environment, timing, preparation, routines, or support). - Change just one thing at a time from that list.
That’s it.
Next time you’re in that same situation, you won’t need to rely on motivation alone, because your system will already be working in your favour.
Final thought
When you stop expecting yourself to push harder, and instead design your life to support you, change becomes calmer, more consistent, and far more sustainable.
If you’d like help building systems that work for your real life (not an idealised version of it), click here to explore how our coaching services support long-term, realistic behaviour change.